A Wish
by EmeraldCityTourist
Summary: ['And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be, 'cause it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always envy.'] Paige has dishonorable intentions, but Ellie doesn't care. Or does she? [Pellie] [implied Palex] Warning: Angst, femslash, SI.


**I needs me some Pellie! If anyone's got any, let me know. Warning: Self-injury, angst and femslash. Pellie and implied Palex. Enjoy!**

_I wish to feel smaller under your sheets.  
I wish for the whole truth very time you speak.  
I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me  
While I watch you arrive, smoke cigarettes, sleep..._

Ellie's stomach flipped as the door opened downstairs. She knew who it was. She knew who it would always be. Moving slowly down the hallway, she descended the stairs and caught a flash of blonde hair before the door shut behind the other girl. Ellie opened her mouth to greet the blonde, but found her words stifled by familiar lips on hers. She instinctively kissed back, letting herself be led to the couch, where the two fell comfortably in a mess of limbs, mouths and sounds. After a few moments of heated passion, Paige pulled away and nodded breathlessly towards the staircase. A sigh of contentment was all that was needed for the blonde to grab the other girl's wrist and pull her up, a sultry smile thrown onto her features.

_And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem  
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans  
Ignoring me the morning after isn't enough and I swear I'm gonna cry.  
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough. _

"I love this."

"I love _you_."

"I love you, Paige."

"I love you so much, Paige."

"Paige?"

"Mmhmm?" A response.

"Nothing."

_  
And my blood won't stick  
To the confines of my veins.  
And your heart  
Is gonna tear mine away. _

Alone again, Ellie fought off the loneliness with a drink and a few slashes on her forearms. Paige never noticed. Or she did, and she ignored the scars there. She went through the days blindly, going through the motions to convince herself and everyone else that nothing was wrong. During dinners at the house, she'd avoid talking to Paige, and focused on her best friend instead- something that wasn't entirely out of the ordinary. Trying to focus on what she felt, the closest Ellie could ever come to describing what she felt was 'numb.' But numb was the last thing she felt underneath Paige, and it was just the drug she needed.

_  
And I wish to feel smaller under your hands,  
though you seem satisfied as you slip mine down your pants.  
And I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me  
While you lift up my shirt after asking politely._

Ellie didn't catch the careless smile on the blonde's face as she moved her hands up towards Paige's bra. They hardly needed to rush, but Paige attacked her mouth and guided her hands downwards, pushing Ellie into the wall of her bedroom while kicking the door closed. Ignoring the stab of rejection that flashed through her, Ellie complied with Paige's unspoken wish and did what she knew she'd always do: whatever it took to make the blonde happy.

_And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be  
'Cause it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always envy.  
I want to end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up.  
But I swear I'm gonna cry.  
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough._

Paige didn't have Alex's picture next to her bed, or as the background of her cell phone. She didn't talk about the brunette or even mention her in passing. If anyone walked into the blonde's life, it might be years before they'd know about the mysterious Alex Nunez, but Ellie wasn't naïve enough to think that Paige had forgotten the girl. The redhead's name never passed Paige's lips at night, or even during the day for that matter. No matter what she did, Ellie knew Paige would never love her, and that nobody would ever be enough to replace the emptiness in Paige's heart. But Ellie could try, and that's exactly what she'd do until the day she was buried in the same cemetery that Alex was resting in now.

_And my blood won't stick  
To the confines of my veins.  
And your heart  
Is gonna tear mine away._

_Is gonna tear mine away._

**Lyrics by Gregory and the Hawk. **

**Story by EmeraldCityTourist, so review! **


End file.
